so it has been a little while since I last posted... a lot has happened since then.. but I can honestly say that I have come to realize that North America is toxic.. there should be warning signs before coming here saying things like there is too much privilege in our society... beware this may cause superficiality and trivial worries
anyways.. that was February when this draft was saved.. after a trip to central america surrounded by lovely people who cared about the sea, sun and having a good spontaneous time... no matter what their means or lack of means... ahhh the Carribean
I felt really beautiful in Belize especially, people were more attracted to my personality and weren't put off at all by my weight... I felt alive, and I wish I could keep my vibrancy going
now I am back to wearing make-up and feeling insecure.. feeling toxic..
I wonder if the only way to cleanse my way of thinking is to leave and never look back..
I realized that I don't inherently hate myself.. how I look or anything like that.. it is just that I am like a sponge that soaks in my surroundings.. and when they are toxic I get toxic
hmmm beautiful thing about me.. is my openness and go with the flow attitude... I think it leads to incredible experiences.... from stumbling upon random dance parties in the centre of Montréal while waiting for a bus at 2AM or getting adopted on a bus by a Belizian family... I feel that I always have hillarious, amazing, eye-opening, sometimes bizarre situations.. and I think that it is a quality that I love about myself...