Dec. 5 2009: I am going crazy...ok beautiful thing today.. I was going to say I know how to dress to flatter myself.. but fuck... the word flattering.. that is really something to think about eh?

Sometimes I think flattering feeds into the whole ohh you shouldn't wear that... it is too tight, too loose, shows too much skin, too short, too long, blah blah blah

I wear what makes me feel good, and what I feel comfortable in... this is not to say I am comfortable with my body, but I put things together in a way that makes me feel better about it

flattering flattering flattering

why should it matter to anyone how someone else looks? If someone is happy in what they are wearing, then perhaps it is the person thinking it is not flattering's problem for being so judgemental ... and probably points to more insecurities in the judger than the judged

I remember my mom saying ohhhh you shouldn't wear that... it is too tight..you should wear pants.. blah blah blah *( I don't wear pants anymore... ) a few years ago I would have taken offense to this, but instead I said hey mom... maybe if someone looks at me and is disgusted by my outfit or how this shirt looks on me, then it is their problem to not have more important things to focus on.. not mine for wearing what I want to wear

this was a very strong moment in my personal growth. it may not seem monumental.. but as I have previously mentioned.. self-hate or insecurities are contageous.. and this was a big step in me breaking that cycle of contamination

annnnd scene.